Carnival
by TheCaptainHP
Summary: Part of the Forever Marauding series.  He had lived his life seemingly normally and that hadn't worked out for him. Peter Pettigrew embraces the stranger side of life in hopes of finding the acceptance he craves.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

_I'm not a monster I believe_- Matt Nathanson, Angel

_Prongs. Padfoot. Moony. Wormtail. James. Sirius. Remus. Peter. Four friends who started out as a united, inseparable force. Four friends who ended up going down four incredibly different paths. They all ended the same way though. Death._

"Hello?" Peter called softly as he padded down the hallway. The Shrieking Shack? What was he doing back here? What had happened to the Malfoy Manor?

"You…." He was met by a tackle. Peter struggled impulsively against his attacker who was now trying to slap him. "Slimy, sneaky, worthless, lying, scum!"

No. He couldn't be here. Not with them. That meant… "J-James." He choked out. "Friends. Please." Peter spluttered.

"Friends? Friends?" James snarled. "Don't you dare call me that. Don't you dare even speak to me. You killed me. You killed Lily. You made my son an orphan, and Sirius a prisoner. I hope it was worth it, you heartless glob of slim."

"James!" A woman's voice called. "No. I know you're mad. But beating Peter up isn't going to make anything change."

Peter's eyes widened as the woman walked into the room. He knew her. They had gone to school together. Her name was… Well, he honestly didn't remember her name. She had been a Hufflepuff, he believed, and not a particularly popular one. Despite his friends, he had been a bit of an outcast as well. While outcasts should have banded together, things hadn't worked out that way. No one wanted to be dragged down by another unpopular person. Their own situation was already bad enough.

"Th-Thank you." He murmured, rubbing a hand against his neck. "James…"

He shook his head. "No. Don't say a word."

Peter opened his mouth to speak, none the less. Sirius raised a closed fist, and he quickly closed his mouth. Maybe after they had some more time… Maybe then James would begin to forgive him. Or at least tolerate him. Allow him to speak.

It wasn't like he didn't have any guilt for what he had done. He had some amount of remorse. He had died for that.

It was only a matter of weeks before Remus joined them. The final Marauder. Things didn't improve at all in that time. Maybe he had been crazy for thinking that it would but… Could you blame him? It appeared that he was trapped here with his friends now, and for who knew how long. Eternity possibly. That left him completely alone. He couldn't run and find someone to show some amount of interest in him, someone to protect him. Although that had never quite worked out for him the way he wanted it to. That was what had gotten him into this current situation.

When he was told about his second life, he was silently thrilled. It wasn't a re-do, but it was far more preferable to his current situation. It wasn't a life, was it? Not when they were all dead. Being alive was one of the requirements for a life.

James was never going to change his mind about him. Peter was always going to be a traitor to his friends. He wouldn't be able to take back his mistakes in this other life, but he would hopefully get a clean slate. Maybe in this other life, this other world, people would like him. He would give anything to be liked by people. Peter had never experienced that. The Marauders had never really liked him. They had tolerated him. Allowed him to tag along so that he would round out their group. Make them look a little less egotistical. He was the token awkward, undesirable one. No girl had ever been interested in him. Sirius was the dashing dark one, the infamous Black family rebel. James was the jock with the body of a geek. Remus was smart, and mature. What did Peter have to offer a woman? His cowardice? No, he had devotion at least. He would have been incredibly devoted and grateful to this woman, a woman who never had or would exist.

This could very well be his chance at happiness. Maybe he didn't deserve to be happy, but he wanted it.

He watched James leave, followed by Sirius, and let out a sigh of relief. They weren't going to come back for one last fight. He could move on with his life. If he was lucky he would never have to see either of them again.

He wouldn't miss either one of them. Jenny, however, Jenny was different. She had stood up for him that very first day, and had continued to until now. She felt some amount of pity for him. That was him. Peter Pitiful Pettigrew.

"I think you'll find it an improvement. It's different at the very least." Jenny said, and he believed her. Could it possibly be worse than what he had had to go through trapped with James and Sirius?

As he looked up at her, he felt his eyes begin to water. Was he starting to cry? Why did he have to be so pathetic? Men didn't cry. James would never cry. Neither would Sirius.

"Thank you. Thank you for standing up for me." Peter murmured before walking through the doorway. Walking to his new life.


	2. Chapter 2

_Fifteen years old in a sea of blank faces__, __Swimming bold against a stream that's mocking as it races_- Mat Kearney, In the Middle

Every child threatens to run away to the circus at some point in their life. It's our favourite go to destination when threatening to leave home. Few actually act upon this threat though, and even fewer are successful.

I am one of those few.

I remember the day that I first saw them. It was during my fifth year, on a Hogsmeade weekend. I had never been very popular at school. I had a group of friends, sure, but I knew they didn't care for me nearly as much as they cared for each other. I was the afterthought. The recluse they had allowed to join in order to round out their group and make them look nicer.

"What's that?" One of them cried as we approached the village.

Over the roofs of the buildings we could see the top of a circus tent. White, gold, and purple stripes. The village was certainly louder than normal, probably caused by whatever was in the tent. Looking around, I noticed that all the other students were quickening their pace and murmuring excitedly to each other.

"Look at this." Sirius snatched a poster off the wall of the post office. "Odinokin's Wizarding Circus." He read, clutching the poster tightly. "Wizarding Circus. I've never been to one of those."

"You haven't? What kind of wizard are you?" James demanded, shaking his head.

"Mum thinks they're tasteless." He explained, and James fell silent. That was a sufficient answer. Mrs. Black was a bit of a high society woman.

"Well, let's check it out. Could be a hoot." James suggested. "Maybe Evans will be there."

We let out a collective groan. "She's never going to fall for you, Prongs. Just give up now." Remus pleaded.

James lifted his chin in pride. "Never. She loves me."

I blocked out their conversation, tired of hearing James blabber on once more about Lily Evans. I was prone to ignoring their talking, which had lead to them thinking I was simple and slow-witted. I didn't really mind. Actually, it worked out in my favor. No one suspected poor Peter of anything. In school, I faked it too. My marks were never good, and I knew my teachers complained about me amongst themselves. I was far smarter than they thought. Why bother to over-exert myself?

I had been to a wizarding circus once before when I was young. Maybe five or six. My parents had taken me for my birthday, and I didn't remember much of it. Dad had complained that it wasn't very good, but Mum had tried to get him to put on a happy face for me. Had to make little Peter happy.

The line to get in was incredible. I guessed that just about every student who was old enough to visit the village was here. Even if the circus was awful, it was a form of entertainment, and was something different. We thrived on events like this.

And then there was the circus itself. Every single seat was sold out, and after the last person had quickly slipped into their seat, the lights began to float down to the center of the tent, before seemingly exploding. They flew about, dispersing themselves around the tent before freezing in place. Where the cluster of lights had once been now stood a man, the ring master presumably. He was dressed in an old-fashioned manner, a style I guessed was Victorian. The more remarkable thing was how his nose began to change shape as he spoke, and his whole body began to change. Upon first appearing, he was a bit like James, tall and lean. As we watched, he shrunk down, and his clothes became loose on his frame like that of a child wearing their parents' clothing. Then his clothes began to become filled out as he now expanded outwards until he resembled a ball, short and round.

"Welcome, welcome!" He called out. "I am Emil Odinokin, and I am here to lead you on your journey through the magnificent, the extraordinary, and the bizarre. This is not a circus that is here for your amusement. This is a circus that is here for your enlightenment. We are here to help you answer those bigger questions, and perhaps enjoy yourself in the process. While we do gratefully accept your money," he said with a slight smile, "and do hope you continue to spend it in our other venues, that is not the greatest gift we receive from you. But enough of that philosophy! Let's get this show on the road!" He cried.

I knew what I had to do. Odinokin's circus had been a world of misfits, even a family. I had been enchanted by it. There was a possibility of hope for me, poor Peter. Perhaps there was a future for me that didn't involve hiding who I was by pretending to be someone else. I had talent. I had skills. Why was I wasting my abilities?

"Excuse me? Mr. Odinokin?" I asked, clutching my bag tightly in my hands. It held everything I owned in it. There was no going back. There was no way I could face living at Hogwarts any longer.

He turned, smiling slightly. "You were at the show this morning, weren't you?"

I blinked in surprise. "Yes… How did you know?" There had been dozens of students there.

"I always know. And the answer to your question is yes."

"But-What-How did you-"

He laughed. "You're a smart boy, Peter. You can figure it out."

"I never told you my name." I protested.

"You didn't have to. By the way, it will be nice to have someone with…your talent on board. We'll have to save that act for the Muggles though, won't we?" He winked at me. "Can't have the government catch on to your little secret."

Mr. Odinokin was slightly insane, in the best of ways. "You're a Metamorphmagus though, aren't you?" He could become any animal if he wanted to, where as I was limited to just one form.

He nodded. "Yes, but I'd rather not be the star of the show. Everyone is important." He patted me on the shoulder.

"So… You'll let me stay?" I asked hesitantly. He had said yes already, hadn't he? This was all happening so fast… It was hard enough just trying to keep up with him.

"Welcome to the circus, my boy."


End file.
